Sta.sh
Fave this journal (it will be your number)
Watch me IF you like my art~ ;v;
.......... The design MUST HAVE ONLY 2 COLORS; BLACK AND WHITE
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this journal 
No matter how good I feel it just creeps back, what the fuck? I can't get rid of it. No matter how much I feel like everything is so beautiful and nice, there's always one little thing that's gotta come out and fuck everything up for me. As if every time I lay back in the grass and relaxe, I do so in a fetal position.
That's not as far off as it sounds. I've started to notice how long it takes me to start sleeping because I spend most of it curled up, clutching my stomach because it feels like something is drilling into it. Is it physical? Sure feels like it, but fuck no. If only it were.
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god jack, why would you think like that? shes your friend.
So what? The ringtail is my friend too..
thats not the same.
Haha.. yeah. What's your point?
my point is that youre only making it worse.
And how do you suggest that I stop it?
let go.
How? Why would I let go of the thing that gives me.. No, you're right.
what?
You're right. It means nothing. It's just preoccupation. I will, as with all, be the best friend that I can. Repress and remove anything else.
we both know it doesnt work like that.
Shut up.
you need a better solution.
Like what?
im sure youll think of something.
...
i have faith in you, jack.
Thanks, sis.
Hhhhhhh
bob dylan was all like TINK AGAIN, DOOD
stupid
stupid
I like those grey guys with the big heads. They're so cute. and fuckable. ohyes.
They say good memories don't leave scars. Then I shall make a point to carve a few every time I'm happy. Maybe that'll help me be positive.
I am fucking positive, pain makes me laugh, doesn't it? Why do I laugh about everything? Is it just who I am? rehtaf
ffffffff
Die just fucking die already you stupid
stop.
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
stop. they aren't here. they're not your problem. just let it go. relaxe.
Yeah I know they're not here.. No one is here.. no one is ever here.
shut up. calm the fuck down. remember me?
yes.
what am i?
always there.
thats right.
im sorry.
its okay.
.
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For example, as I was reading this, I was thinking something along these lines. - "Greys... brings back memories. My first dream I ever remember having as a kid. HAhaha, dream? Is THAT what that was? Fuck it, don't think about that right now, keep reading. Hmm, sounds like me, every time I hear a train. It's callin' my name, there, not the whistle, the tracks. Shut the fuck up, I'm not thinking like that anymore. Keep reading. Wait, wait...THEY talk to him, too? No, no they don't use their voices he means a different THEM. THEY don't even have to actively talk, it's just part of their program. Clear your mind. Where did I leave off? I didn't. Keep reading..."
I shouldn't even be awake right now... XD